is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
