your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
