I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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