found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
