Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
