I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
