all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
