i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Boobs are out for the taking
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
