He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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