Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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