we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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