I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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