I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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