nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
