Quick, to the slutcave!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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