I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize