how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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