Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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