I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
