You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
