No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
