Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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