wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
