So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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