ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
NoShamevember. You game?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
