so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
