Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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