Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
