so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
