they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
