I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize