if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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