How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
