Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
