That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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