I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
