Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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