Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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