i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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