Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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