gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Your cock deserves a montage
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
