Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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