My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
