Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
