My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
