And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
