...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
