She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My vagina is very pro this idea
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize