I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
