Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
