so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
