I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I wish you could order shots online.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
