All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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