Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
