do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
