Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
