There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
