Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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