Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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