So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
